Author: j

i want you to be well too, but you are not going to put me in harms way or take advantage of me,

focusing on the things i don’t even think about today

i do not have to go through my days thinking about myself in the ways some want me to…

how would you compose yourself homeless?

i am not selling myself to anyone, . !

y’all thought you had influence…

i will never be associated, anywhere. !

i will not be a scapegoat.

i’m not comparing, just acknowledging my effort at the time. if we had met today we wouldn’t have.

today i am very familiar with how some can lie…

i sense increased hostility around me and i remain calm as can be. these tactics fail to hurt me in the ways they once did before,

i will always hold it against each person for being dishonest with me, playing games with my head, keeping me down for longer, when i needed support the most. what has changed?

i am once again offended, but i am not going to hold any more grudges.

how am i expected to recognize someone i used to know, passing by, after all of this?

are they acting? is “artificial intelligence” used to trap people now?

let another 3 years pass… 🌸

i’ve considered many views, and this is where i have pushed myself today. anyway, peace and good vibes from me,

i am not open to change against my will. i cannot pretend either. some people like to take advantage you know, who am i to say anything? well,

some quiet in the only place i can get it right now is really nice…(after my smoke outside around the town)

you sold your soul? i’m not doing the same. if that is what being an adult is, then i don’t ever want to grow up. sounds familiar right? except i really stick to it, with good style…

never forget that i gave up everyone to prove a point. !

best? always? i wouldn’t say that… i do the best i can. i’ve made an effort in the years i have been out here, but i have not been able to reach something stable, a place of my own. you could say i am selfish even though i had more than just myself in mind while i tried and worked hard for something better. i could be helping out and giving back by now. instead i am no longer able to work or meet anyone and i struggle to have even a conversation on the phone making appointments to finish this process obtaining disability. there were better days, few and far between…

“you think i am bad, but you are not bad. uh-huh-huh-huh…”

here we go again…

just like these strangers around who get upset at me because i don’t give them a second of my time and i easily shatter their games the moment they try and mess with me, in my usual style.

my perseverance? emotional intelligence?

welp, i was viewing north carolina and it brought back memories of the road trip with my grandparents to boone, and i enjoyed that. but 5 years after i stayed at a summer camp in asheville and i did not enjoy my time there, unfortunately…

i said i would move around light and free, and i meant it.

earlier i sat up in bed and jingled my keys like i had a collar on and was itching myself, you know, and then i laid back down.